Stretching Outside Your Comfort Zone

Photo credit - pexels-lisa-fotios-1471991

This picture nearly perfectly describes me in my comfort zone.  

What's discomforting to me? A few things.  Top of the list (maybe near the top) would be dancing. 

Now, I love music, and can find the rhythm of the song and can tap or sway reasonably well to it. Music, like dancing, is a kinesthetic experience. But for me, Dancing involves asking various parts of my body to do things in a particular sequence and coordination to music, at which it seems to rebel since my childhood.  So I have developed some expertise in avoiding dance during parties over the years.

Recently I was asked along with a colleague, Varsha Chitnis, to co-facilitate the morning Plenary session on Day 2 of the IAF Asia Conference of the International Association of Facilitators (IAF) at Hyderabad along with a super facilitator from Japan, Mr. Hideyuki Yoshioka.   We were allotted 45 minutes and asked to energize the group (of only 190 delegates of different ages) and connect it to the previous day's learnings.

During our initial zoom discussions, we brainstormed as to how this session could be energetic and fun.  Among the various ideas we discussed was how to include music into the session.  Hideyuki-san proposed that we incorporate Zumba into the session.  With further discussion, the design took shape to combine learning and the Zumba dance. It was fortunate for us that Hideyuki-san was a Certified Zumba Instructor. While we became very excited about the design, my fear of dancing came to the fore.  I would have gladly taken a back seat rather than be dancing on stage.

As we practiced our moves over Zoom with guidance from Hideyuki-san (he's a certified Zumba Instructor), my discomfort grew stronger. During a practice session, I spoke about my discomfort with dancing and how I was concerned that I might make huge errors and bring down the team. Both of them kindly told me that I have to do this, and not to worry too much.  They encouraged me to keep trying and gave me courage to make mistakes and move ahead.

The result:

Us showing the way

Delegates practicing their dance steps

Delegates getting into the Zumba groove

After our session.

With Varsha Chitnis and Hideyuki-san

There was complete enthusiastic participation from the delegates, which we felt enabled us to go beyond our own potential. We felt the energy in the room shift higher as they put on their moves to the music.  I know that my co-facilitators danced better than me.

The feedback we got was on the lines of "Best session so far at the conference", "we really enjoyed the session", "we loved it", "Awesome".  A personal feedback I got from a couple of people was that it was inspiring to see my  courage in dancing on stage, despite my errors.

After the conference, I reflected on what could have made me do something that wasn't really me, yet get accepted and appreciated by the delegates.  Here's what I came up with:

• I acknowledged my discomfort with dancing to myself.
• I voiced it with my co-facilitators
• My co-facilitators encouraged me to keep trying and not dwell on mistakes.
• Because of their immense  and kind support, I was able to engage my curiosity, use my growth mindset,  to focus my learning instead of my fears, and practice the steps.
• Practice is important - regular deliberate practice even more so. Hideyuki-san made a video of us during a practice session which he shared with us.

I'm extremely grateful to IAF for the opportunity to do this session, and my co-facilitators Hideyuki Yoshioka and Varsha Chitnis for believing in me and being with me as I stretched outside of my comfort zone.

Let me also add that the conference was an awesome experience overall.  It was three days of fun and learning at Hyderabad for which I am thankful to all the facilitators and the delegates.

Are You Boss of Your Cognitive Bias?

Photo by Marta Nogueira: https://www.pexels.com/photo/ pink-and-blue-background-divided-diagonally-with-two-matching-colored-pencils-placed- on-opposite-colors-top-down-view-flat-lay-with-empty-space-for-text-17151677/

 

If you are human, cognitive bias comes with the territory. You cannot beat it, but you can fight against it. In a new white paper, we explain why it is particularly important for organizational leaders to understand and check their cognitive biases, especially when making critical decisions.

Cognitive biases present a serious risk to organizational leaders who bear any responsibility for high-level decision-making. Educating yourself and your team on these five common mental traps will help you neutralize them for improved decision-making, team dynamics, and workplace culture.

1) Anchoring Bias

Read the rest of the article here.

Certificate of Appreciation from IAF

 I like helping and I regularly volunteer my time with the International Association of Facilitators (IAF) and other organizations as my schedule permits.

I recently did this for the IAF Asia conference which was held in Hyderabad on 30th Nov, 01st and 2nd Dec 2023.  I was pleasantly surprised to receive this certificate.  

Gratitude to IAF for the opportunity.

Worklife Balance - The Art of Balancing Yourself

The stress we face at work and home has been increasing only over the past 15 years, not that it was much less before.  Because of the late hours, working lunches, extended working weekends, and family responsibilities, it's very difficult for folks to find the time to wind down. What aggravates the problem is that many people are caught up in jobs they don't really like doing and delivering results by putting in extra hours like never before.

This has increased over the past four years because the lockdown and the mandatory work from home policy blurred the lines between work and home. Achieving work-life balance seems to be an impossible dream, for most of us.

Photo credit: pexels-michael-judkins-1113552

For clarity - here's a basic definition of work-life balance from Google - "the division of one's time and focus between working and family or leisure activities."

With organizations competing heavily for growth, employees at all levels of organization are being pushed harder than ever before. Some days, you feel it's better to stay in bed and switch off the wi-fi and phone. 

Credit pexels-pixabay-Stay in Bed 271897

Worse - it can lead to a feeling that you are stuck (due to a variety of reasons, particularly financial reasons).

Stuck Lift Button Photo by imustbedead httpswww.pexels.comphotoperson-holding-black-and-white-round-ornament-10835818

There's a lot of literature about work-life balance available online and in books.  Managing the stress that one goes through (at home or at work) is a key theme.  Meditation, diet and exercise are frequently prescribed and they are all effective to the extent that the employee is able to carve out the time to do it diligently. Most don't work on the root cause.

I also like the idea from Marcus Buckingham of doing more of what you love and less of what you don't enjoy. This would have the effect of unbalancing yourself in the direction of the things that you enjoy doing.  Of course, easier said than done, but nevertheless, it is definitely worth attempting. A lot of artists, athletes, business and corporate folk have managed to do this. The example of Mr. Piyush Pandey from the Advertising world comes to mind.

I've an additional viewpoint to offer. 

When I was in the corporate world, there were many days when we worked late in the office, leaving only around 8 pm. I used to sing regularly with my church choir at the time. We would have practices on two weekdays that began and ended late since the singers were all working people.  I recall many days when I attended practices though I was extremely tired from the office day.  

Instead of being exhausted on returning home, I would find that I was energized.  I checked with other singers who also confirmed similar feelings and experiences.  Subsequently, I spoke to other people at work, asking them how they unwound from a tiring day or week.  Each of them had different methds or activities - from listening to music, playing with their pets, going for a long walk or even a jog at night, giving attention to the family members (including kids), working on their hobbies maybe twice or thrice a week, each of which contributed to improving the way they felt about themselves.  

Whatever activity they chose allowed them to use some of their talents that weren't being used sufficiently (or at all) at work.  Sometimes, of course, there was a similarity.

Here's my understanding of this:

We humans are a mix of structured and creative ways of being.  Most of us prefer to have a structured routine on a daily basis, with a few minor changes, because it gives us a sense of comfort. 

All of us are endowed with both skills for both structure and creativity.  Some are wired more towards one side, and our upbringing, education and circumstances (environment) along with our own decisions play a major role in which side we end up using, along with the line of work we choose. 

However, most of our jobs are demanding in a manner that requires us to work in an extremely structured manner in a strongly regulated internal (within the organization) environment that interfaces and interacts with an external environment where regular flux is the name of the game.  This flux increases our work pressure and our stress.  It is compounded by the reality that a solution that worked yesterday (or earlier) will not work sufficiently or as effectively today, and may be completely irrelevant tomorrow. Our jobs also require us to spend extended hours at work on a daily basis, and with remote work, the lines between home and work are quite blurred.  This makes it difficult for us to switch off from work and, has increased the amount of stress we go through.

So what should we be doing to balance ourselves? Here are my suggestions:

• Spend time knowing (really getting to know) your strengths.  You can do this by using a validated psychometric assessment, hire a Strengths Strategy Coach like me and / or getting feedback from people who know you well enough to be honest with you.
• Think about the hobbies where you spent a lot of time while growing up. Identify those hobbies where time just flew by while you were doing it and enjoying it. This would mean that these hobbies are aligned with your strengths.
• Look for opportunities to bring at least two of those hobbies into your current schedule.  This could be daily, weekly, fortnightly. These hobbies shouldn't be easy and should possess a degree of challenge that is sufficient for you to access the Flow Zone.
• Any activity that is less than that frequency would not help you to reduce stress much. Some of my friends who still make time to play football or other physical sports. Others cook meals for their family on Sundays. I sing in my church choir at least twice a month.
• Guard this schedule zealously and jealously, as much as you can.
• Figure out how you could be paid money to do one or more the things you enjoy, so that it becomes your fulltime career and job, instead of something in your spare time.  I have helped my clients make this happen for them and they have more satisfied careers and less stressed lives.
• Initiate a discussion with your reporting manager and HR to plan how to use your strengths more in your job.  I know this is difficult, but it's worth a try.

By doing these things, you stand a better chance of balancing yourself and achieving your work-life balance. 

In the corporate world, the HR team and line managers can look at hiring people based on their strengths so that they will be more engaged while at work.

Want to know more about Balancing Yourself by Using Your Strengths or Identifying a Career based on your strengths? Write to me at ryanbbarretto@hotmail.com or call on +919820155778 for a discussion.

When Your Calling Doesn’t Call: What Do You Do Without a Life Passion?

Interesting headline? Read on... 

“If we don’t know what we want to be when we grow up, is there something fundamentally wrong with us?”

Following our joy, chasing our bliss, finding our dharma: these are good things, right? We want to be like the heroic people who gave up the security of some well-paying 9-to-5 in order to move to Greece and start a goat farm that can power a small village. Amazing, right? Let’s all follow our passions!

But what if we don’t have one? What if there’s nothing in particular we’d want to give up our steady paycheck for? What if we care about living a meaningful life but don’t know what, exactly, that would look like?

If you feel this way, you’re not alone. The people that turned their passions into lucrative careers are happy to toot their own horns about it, and loudly. But most of us aren’t doing that. We haven’t found our calling, so we keep waiting for the phone to ring. We join the circus or buy a mobile home to sell our jewelry out of, and for a while, it feels like a life calling. It feels meaningful and important. Then, after a while, exhausted from working too hard and making too little, we realize that we’re bored and frustrated and maybe we’re not in love with what we thought was our calling anymore. Turns out the call was just spam.

Then we start to wonder: If we don’t know what we want to be when we grow up, is there something fundamentally wrong with us?

There isn’t. It’s a myth that we all have some single grand life passion that we must be following or we’re living some pale, flaccid version of life. It’s as mythological as the idea of The One for romantic love.

Read the rest of this fascinating article here.

While you do that, I advocate that you should identify a Purpose that aligns with your strengths. This purpose is not written in stone - meaning, you can change it whenever you like, or even have more than one Purpose at a time. I support my Strengths-based career coaching clients in this journey.

If you want to know how to do this, contact me on +919820155778 or write to ryanbbarretto@hotmail.com for a discussion.

How You build Accountability as a Leader?

 First - you set an example by showing how you are accountable in your role. 

Next - you set expectations according to the capability of your team and the results you need. Applying the Situational Leadership Model is an excellent way to do this. (Ask me how)

Then - convey your willingness to listen to suggestions from them. Allow them this facility so that both they and you can learn, even if you already know a better way. If you have to reject their ideas, please do provide a clear explanation. This will allow the team to grow confidence & share ideas that will benefit the department & organization. 

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Finally - set up formal review dates and times, along with the option for your team to come to you anytime for clarifications / updates / emergencies.  Informally, talk to the team everyday (morning or evening as per their convenience) so that you and the team are on the same page.

This question came up on LinkedIn and I am one of the people who contributed to it.  You can view it here.   

Why I answered it like this? - because leaders get best results when they lead by example. 

What it means to lead by example? "QBQ - The Question Behind the Question" is the name of a great book by John G. Miller where he describes personal accountability in clear terms.  I have used his wisdom in workshops (with positive results) where Personal Accountability is part of the topics to be covered. Do check it out.  Disclaimer- I don't earn from endorsement of the book.  I am just recommending a great resource to those who want to improve their personal accountability. 

Want to improve leadership skills in your organization? Let's talk. Connect with me on +919820155778 

Session learnings and Feedback - Strengths-based Resume Writing

Extremely happy to have conducted two sessions on Strengths-based Resume Writing and Interview Preparation for the students of R.A. Podar College in Matunga (E), Mumbai.

Approximately 170 students were covered in two separate three-hour batches conducted over 2 days.

Here is the feedback for both days.

This is where they have stated how they feel about writing their own Strength-based Resume after attending my session.

What they will apply from the sessions-

Extremely grateful to Ruta Vyas and the management at R.A. Podar College for the opportunity.

Do connect with me to conduct such sessions for students.

If you want personalized individual coaching for writing your resume or preparing for interviews, please do write to me at ryanbbarretto@hotmail.com or call on +919820155778 for a discussion.