Stretching Outside Your Comfort Zone

Photo credit - pexels-lisa-fotios-1471991

This picture nearly perfectly describes me in my comfort zone.  

What's discomforting to me? A few things.  Top of the list (maybe near the top) would be dancing. 

Now, I love music, and can find the rhythm of the song and can tap or sway reasonably well to it. Music, like dancing, is a kinesthetic experience. But for me, Dancing involves asking various parts of my body to do things in a particular sequence and coordination to music, at which it seems to rebel since my childhood.  So I have developed some expertise in avoiding dance during parties over the years.

Recently I was asked along with a colleague, Varsha Chitnis, to co-facilitate the morning Plenary session on Day 2 of the IAF Asia Conference of the International Association of Facilitators (IAF) at Hyderabad along with a super facilitator from Japan, Mr. Hideyuki Yoshioka.   We were allotted 45 minutes and asked to energize the group (of only 190 delegates of different ages) and connect it to the previous day's learnings.

During our initial zoom discussions, we brainstormed as to how this session could be energetic and fun.  Among the various ideas we discussed was how to include music into the session.  Hideyuki-san proposed that we incorporate Zumba into the session.  With further discussion, the design took shape to combine learning and the Zumba dance. It was fortunate for us that Hideyuki-san was a Certified Zumba Instructor. While we became very excited about the design, my fear of dancing came to the fore.  I would have gladly taken a back seat rather than be dancing on stage.

As we practiced our moves over Zoom with guidance from Hideyuki-san (he's a certified Zumba Instructor), my discomfort grew stronger. During a practice session, I spoke about my discomfort with dancing and how I was concerned that I might make huge errors and bring down the team. Both of them kindly told me that I have to do this, and not to worry too much.  They encouraged me to keep trying and gave me courage to make mistakes and move ahead.

The result:

Us showing the way

Delegates practicing their dance steps

Delegates getting into the Zumba groove

After our session.

With Varsha Chitnis and Hideyuki-san

There was complete enthusiastic participation from the delegates, which we felt enabled us to go beyond our own potential. We felt the energy in the room shift higher as they put on their moves to the music.  I know that my co-facilitators danced better than me.

The feedback we got was on the lines of "Best session so far at the conference", "we really enjoyed the session", "we loved it", "Awesome".  A personal feedback I got from a couple of people was that it was inspiring to see my  courage in dancing on stage, despite my errors.

After the conference, I reflected on what could have made me do something that wasn't really me, yet get accepted and appreciated by the delegates.  Here's what I came up with:

• I acknowledged my discomfort with dancing to myself.
• I voiced it with my co-facilitators
• My co-facilitators encouraged me to keep trying and not dwell on mistakes.
• Because of their immense  and kind support, I was able to engage my curiosity, use my growth mindset,  to focus my learning instead of my fears, and practice the steps.
• Practice is important - regular deliberate practice even more so. Hideyuki-san made a video of us during a practice session which he shared with us.

I'm extremely grateful to IAF for the opportunity to do this session, and my co-facilitators Hideyuki Yoshioka and Varsha Chitnis for believing in me and being with me as I stretched outside of my comfort zone.

Let me also add that the conference was an awesome experience overall.  It was three days of fun and learning at Hyderabad for which I am thankful to all the facilitators and the delegates.

How to encourage yourself

We talk to ourselves - every day.  Some of us do it throughout the day, and we sometimes miss what is happening in the world around us.

Our self-talk helps us make sense of the world we live in, as things happen to us.  The self-talk may not be positive most of time for us.  Yet, these talks shape both our moods and us as people, and help us reach wherever we are today, whether we want to be there or not.  The self talk helps us develop a Fixed Mindset or a Growth Mindset.

 Here's an interesting image sourced from Pinterest.

As you may notice, they are about a growth mindset.  These are some messages you can give (gift?) to yourself as you start your day or plan your next day.  How about reflecting on these questions:

• Which ones would you like to gift yourself today?
• Which ones can wait for another time?  What is the need for them to wait? Any gains?
• What is your plan to gift them to yourself in the coming days?
• Which of your strengths could aid you in making any of these messages a reality i.e. a daily practice?
• Which of your strengths could be coming in the way of you making any of these messages a reality i.e. a daily practice?
• Who in your circle needs to receive any or all of these messages? How much impact would they have on them?
• Who in your circle should you demonstrate one or more of these messages to?

Share your thoughts and responses if you like, and I invite you to think over these messages and questions.  After all, this is about your self-development and evolving to your best self.

Need help to take the first few steps? Call or write to me on ryanbbarretto@hotmail.com