Leaders have become painfully aware that one man can't do it all. In today's scenario of VUCA, IoT, AI and AR, a single employee / manager or leader can't make the organization succeed and thrive. There's no superman, just employees. A well-molded team can help things move faster. Teams that collaborate effectively across the organization, end up winning more for that organization, than those who don't.
And yet, in every organization that tries to encourage collaboration, conflict inevitably occurs, and most people have an instant dislike to conflict. Conflicts arise primarily because people come from different backgrounds with different learning experiences which are not yet shared. Also, few people can easily accept that there can be accurate perspectives which are different from the one they hold. Some people shy from conflict, hoping it will go away. This extends the duration of the problem - similar to continuing to walk when there's a stone in your shoe.
I am one of those who don't prefer conflict. Over time I have realized it is necessary else we, as a species, will not progress. This quote helped me realize that conflict is actually a manifestation of some awareness of a mismatch / dissonance / something that doesn't sit right in one's mind. It may be real or imagined, but if not surfaced and explored, will cause bitterness, resentment, frustration and so on.
Conflict can be addressed through a workshop training or coaching.
Managing conflict as a Facilitator or Trainer
Many times as a trainer, particularly, during workshops on Teamworking, Building Trust or Collaboration, I have sensed that some participants in the room are not comfortable with each other, and it shows in the manner they interact. Others are aware of the tensions between them, and modify their behaviour so as to not make things worse. What actually happens is that no one is able to participate genuinely during the program, and interactions are painfully polite.
As a facilitator or trainer, it's now my task to get them to interact authentically during the program, without forcing them to resolve the conflict. So I do this with carefully crafted questions or statements, which I ask them to discuss. Being clear about the outcome of the workshop is extremely important, else such participants will provide lip service at best or derail your schedule at worst. Occasionally, I get a heads-up about such participants during the diagnosis stage, and so I am able to plan a process or activity that will help them to work together despite differences.
Understanding conflict from a Strengths Strategy Coach perspective
From a Clifton #strengthsfinder perspective, conflicts can be looked at from the Four Domains of strengths, viz. Strategic Thinking, Relationship Building, Executing and Influencing domains. Very few people, when looking at their Top 10 Strengths, have an equal distribution of strengths across each domain. So the chances are high that the strengths can be concentrated across one or two domains more than others. These strengths will cause people to see things differently, even if two people have the same strengths in their top 10 (see below).
If the needs of the strengths from the dominant domains are not permitted to express themselves, dissatisfaction and conflicts can arise. Also, if the situation demands the use of strengths which are the bottom 10 of the 34 Strengths Report, then this too will cause uneasiness, dissatisfaction and conflict.
For eg. a person who is high (
meaning - his/ her strengths are in the Top 10) on moving to action, getting things done (Activator, Achiever, Discipline - Executing Domain), is going to feel some irritation if invited to a meeting where people are brainstorming (using Analytical, Ideation, Learner, Futuristic - Strategic Thinking Domain), if they are in his bottom 10 strengths. Unless facilitated well, brainstorming meetings, as we know, can take up a whole lot of time. This may probably escalate into frustration or anger for that person, if he was not informed about the purpose of the meeting.
As a Strengths coach, I ensure my coachees take time to understand their strengths, how they manifest in behaviours, by correlating what they enjoy doing and not doing through different exercises. I ask them to reflect on what this conflict might be trying to bring into their consciousness. I allow them some time to identify whats going on, identifying which of the needs of their strengths are not being fulfilled. Then ask them to create a plan of how to call on other strengths to help not only to manage the current situation, but also be a helpful contributor. This of course, is how people collaborate when they come from different parts of the organization.
The point is, don't shy away from conflict. Here are the gifts of a conflict -
- It helps realization of dissonance, thus reducing stress and emotional waste.
- If reflected upon, it provides a starting point to working towards a dialogue, which can lead to a solution.
- It can create an opportunity to grow a strength, experiment new things.
- It's a chance to have fruitful discussions with those who disagree with you - and now you get to learn another person's perspective.
- Surfacing a conflict sooner means that you save the most valuable resource of an organization - TIME.
Contact me on +91-9820155778 or ryanbbarretto@hotmail.com or leave me a message here, if you want to run a Collaboration or a Conflict Management intervention for your organization.
