Dealing with career setbacks

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Life can deal us many blows.  Some of the toughest events to deal with are those related to the career.  This is because many of us have our identity tied to what we do for a living, and when this is threatened or taken away, there is a profound feeling of loss and confusion. These events could be anything from being laid off, get passed over for a promotion opportunity, missing out on an employment opportunity, frequent rejections of your resume and so on. 

When your resume gets frequently rejected, or you don't clear the final round of the interview at the organization where you were very keen on working, or if you are laid off, your morale can really drop.  You start wondering if you are good enough, or if you ever will be.  The imposter syndrome kicks in, and you end up feeling worse. Check out my article about using your strengths to tackle your imposter syndrome.

Here are some ideas to deal with career setbacks, particularly job interview rejections:

• First, introspect honestly on the circumstances that brought you through your current place. Clearly articulate your role in the entire process before anyone else's role.
• Revise your strategy and keep trying.
• Reflect on top 3 situations / interviews that you think went really well.
• Identify and note down 5 things that you did particularly well in those situations.
• Similarly, for 3 situations / interviews that you feel went really poorly. Reflect on what could have gone better. Note these down.
• Consider how you could enhance the use of your strengths to improve.
• If you can call someone who was present at the time for feedback, you can ask them for 3 things you did well and 3 things you can improve on. Don't get defensive during these calls and only make notes of their suggestions.  Thank them of course.
• Consider how you can improve your adaptability to the environment.
• Finally, remember that what happens to you can define you personally, only if you let it get to you personally.  It's ok to fall down now and then, just don't stay there.

Accordingly, you can now modify your approach and restart.  You could consider engaging a strengths-based career coach (like myself) to help you polish your approach.

Wish you all success in bouncing back from your setbacks.

How Strengths can combat the Imposter Syndrome

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The term 'Imposter Syndrome' has gained prominence over the past decade.  Here's a google definition of what it means:

"Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. It disproportionately affects high-achieving people, who find it difficult to accept their accomplishments. Many question whether they're deserving of accolades."

This tends to manifest as an internal voice (that can grow in volume) that questions everything you do or are thinking of doing. Think of it as your personal Devil's Advocate that no one but you can hear.  It initially seems like the voice of caution. As time goes by, it becomes more nagging and persistent.  It is a great recorder of past failures and loves surfacing those memories especially when we make plans for a new future.  You might even have the song "The Great Pretender" playing as your soundtrack in the background

Here's the main problem - it distracts us from doing our best work.  It scares us when we want to take a risk.  It fills our head with thoughts of failures, being abandoned by those close to us and maintaining the status quo, thus stunting our growth.  "Who do you think you are to attempt this?", it asks us constantly.

The bad news - we can't get rid of it.  Eons of evolution have allowed us to develop cautious thinking and behaviour to a fine art till we reach a stage where many of us allow it to control every aspect of what we do.

The good news - we don't need to get rid of it because it is also quite useful.  It helps us identify and plan for potential potholes in our road ahead.  So we need to manage it by being more thorough in our research and experimentation.

In my experience and understanding, the impostor syndrome exists because of 2 reasons:

1) Our need to get things right.

2) Our fear of getting things wrong.

Both these two boil down to "What will people say?"

The complete sentence that is rarely articulated is "What will people say about us, and the result, when they see the result?". The result is that we don't take steps forward, but remain stuck, give up on our dreams and then have plenty of regrets - "What if I had tried ______?". I've seen this many times as an interviewer and as a career coach. Please note-We must be aware that these thoughts trigger feelings and emotions in the human brain that are similar to situations when we are being physically attacked. The brain can't distinguish between real attacks and perceived attacks and applies the same strategy to defend the body. The net result is that your cognitive (thinking and reasoning) abilities are reduced because blood for these areas of the brain is diverted to other organs to prepare a fight or flight response.

This behaviour related to the above two reasons is called "resulting", a term which I picked up from the superb book 'Thinking in Bets' by Annie Duke. This term refers to the time and energy we spend on deciding that is so focused on the outcome, that we don't take action or don't take appropriate action soon enough. This affects the quality of our decision and thus, our outcomes / results. It means we haven't yet developed a robust decision-making process.

Before we take decisions, and act on those decisions, the most critical thing we can do to combat Imposter Syndrome is to Know Ourselves. Without knowing yourself, you will have no idea what to do when disruption happens. You are likely to end up with a feeling of disconnection, discontent and confusion, and are likely to miss growth opportunities.

But this is a common phrase - "know yourself". It is also woefully short on actual direction or action points. Here's my thoughts about "Knowing Yourself" based on my own introspection, experiences and research:

1. Know Your Strengths (what you are really good at doing / delivering great value)
2. Know your Weaknesses (the tasks or activities that frustrate you or make you downright miserable with or without value being delivered)
3. Your Preferences (What strengths do you prefer using?)
4. Your Biases (What triggers you? This refers to external environment factors particularly other peoples' behaviour / actions that cause discomfort for you)

As you look at this list, you may realize that while you may have some awareness of the first two points, and as they are discussed a lot in the Self-development Learning space, there is generally little or no discussion on the other two points. Those are the areas that aid or trip us more than the awareness or lack thereof of our strengths and weaknesses.

What do these areas have to do with Imposter Syndrome?

• They're all reminders of who you are, and who you are NOT - as a person.
• They help you remember that you don't have much control on what happens in the outside world. This is where being aware of your biases helps tremendously. eg. I have a challenge with working with people who don't want to think on their own and expect to get spoon fed all the time. This can cause me to get angry, sarcastic and so on. To avoid my reactions, I have to carefully choose who I want to work with.
• Your strengths particularly will remind you of what you are good at and what will give you joy.
• Your weaknesses will remind you it is ok to not be good at some things and so indicate which areas you can do your best to avoid.

Keep in mind that you are developing awareness in these four areas, and it is an ongoing lifelong process.

Now you are in a better position to combat this internal voice called Imposter Syndrome. Why? Because after this exercise of Self Awareness, you can now Strategically Apply Your Strengths to do what needs to be done to achieve your goals. You will be in a better position to shut out or pay attention to the voice, take that risk, and focus particular strengths that can suit the situation to leverage your success. You can move from thinking "All this can go wrong" to thoughts that say "These are my options based on my capabilities".

Most importantly, you are gaining freedom from "what people will say", there is more confidence in your actions that is grounded in your self-knowledge, particularly your strengths.

How to develop this awareness?

Option A

1. Take feedback from trusted sources (this means that they're comfortable giving you bad news), and don't comment or justify your point of view. Simply make a note of what they offer.
2. Create action plans with the help of a Strengths Strategy Coach.

Option B

1. Take the PRISM Professional Brainmapping Inventory to understand your Behaviour Preferences, strengths and weaknesses.
2. Follow this with coaching to become aware of your biases.

Of course, this means a lot of practice, but with sufficient focus, you will be in a better position to manage the imposter and work towards your success.

Doing this regularly means that over time, you'll find the voice of the Imposter going softer and softer, as you climb from success to success.

To know about PRISM Brainmapping Inventory, visit www.prismbrainmapping,com and connect with a certified practitioner, i.e. me, on +919820155778 to know more.